My focus in this series is to talk about the things that are different from American customs, the quirks of French culture, and whatever else has been an adjustment for me. This week, I'm covering the "hey what's up hello"s of French culture. I learned my fair share of French greetings in high school and college, but there are some finer points that can only really be learned through experience.
I think it’s safe to say that most people are familiar with bonjour as the typical French greeting. It translates to “good day” and can be used in pretty much any situation to greet someone. However, bonjour is just one of a four-part set of daily greetings. During daylight hours, hello is bonjour (good day) or salut (informal and closer to “hey”), and goodbye is bonne journée (have a good day). Once the sun sets, you switch to bonsoir (good evening), and bonne soirée (have a good evening).
One of the weirdest things about French greeting rules is that when I’m at school, the first time I see someone, we say bonjour to each other, but every other time we pass each other throughout the day, we don’t say anything. I’m so used to saying at least a “hi” to someone I pass by throughout the day, even if I saw them in the morning and then later in the day. Whenever entering a room, it’s also normal to say bonjour or salut to everyone, and for everyone to respond with a bonjour or salut back.
Another odd acknowledgment is if you pass by someone eating, it’s polite to wish them bon appétit. I was eating a sandwich in a park two weeks ago, and at least four people out walking their dogs or just passing by wished me bon appétit. It’s so bizarre to me, but it’s also so French that a part of their etiquette is to extend well-wishes to everyone’s meals.
A blog post about greetings wouldn’t be complete without addressing comment faire la bise? It’s technically an air kiss, but you touch cheek-to-cheek and then make a little kiss sound. The bise is given as part of greetings and goodbyes, but the exact rules still aren’t super clear to me. It’s not just reserved for people you know well, but neither do you kiss strangers’ cheeks (until you do). For example, I went to a conversation club on Monday night, and when I arrived and left, everyone went in for the bise, but they were total strangers to me. I guess the best way to explain it is as a sign of friendliness or amicability. It’s still weird even after six months of living here, though. On top of that, there are a different number of expected kisses in various regions of France—see the map below.
If you plan on visiting France, you can certainly get by just using bonjour and au revoir. I’ve found that it’s a surefire way to give away that I’m not French because of my accent, but it’s enough to the French to extend the courtesy. I wish you all luck if you ever encounter the bise, it can feel fancy like "ooh la la!", but it’s super awkward to air kiss a middle-aged man I just met or my teachers’ kids. Til next time, a bientôt!
(click to enlarge)
